Today I am inspired to write about an issue that I do not quite understand and I’m afraid I probably never will. It is a very controversial issue just because of the theme and an issue that I feel really strongly about. It makes me uncomfortable most of the time when I think about it and I attribute it to a generation gap or circumstantial. It is probably best left untouched.
I come from a country that is known for its huge diversity among people in terms of religions and cultures, the predominant ones being the Hindus and the Muslims. Since childhood, I’ve only seen wars between them in the media but mostly harmony between them off the media and also studied about it in history classes. Living in Mumbai, I believe I was among the privileged few to have seen harmony because Mumbai is that way, more open. But there have been countless issues between Hindus and Muslims for years now in other parts of the country, which has sparked a deep down nation-wide hatred between the two communities. This also breeds a level of mistrust among these communities which hinders friendships. This is internal to the country but it is also projected to the relationship between the two countries, India and Pakistan and to a smaller extent, India (more specifically West Bengal) and Bangladesh. India and Pakistan have historically had a bad relationship with both countries blaming each other for the mishaps in terms of terrorist activities and even diplomatic relations. There have been a number of Indo-Pak wars. Many attempts at political ties have been made with probably more failures than successes. There have been multiple terror attacks in India that media has reported to have been originally planned in Pakistan. If I were to believe every fact put in front of me, I should believe Pakistanis to be my mortal enemy. That’s what’s been happening for generations now. Some people are vocal about it and some keep it inside but strongly hold on to that belief. The ones who are vocal about it, show it every step of the way, being instigated by local politics. The people who suffer are the native Muslims of India. I am pretty sure it’s the exact same way for the native Hindus in Pakistan.
On a personal level, my family is a relatively more open family than most in India. But even in that mindset, there are restrictions. For instance, my family might not take too well to inter-community matrimony relations. This is even more pronounced in the Bengali community where family origins matter. A family with origins in India might not be very comfortable marrying into a family with origins in Bangladesh. Even though this turns up in my family discussions as a joke most of the time, it is certainly never ignored. Having said that, my parents have never discouraged me or even mentioned anything about making friends with Muslims. In fact, I distinctly remember, my father always complimented their famous rice dish that we all love, the Biryani. During my early school days, I made my first Muslim friend and my father would always joke that I could get to eat the best Biryani just because he was a friend. I never felt that barrier that the whole country feels when it comes to these two communities. But I always knew of its existence, even in my family, because my mother would keep telling me not to find a partner from that community! I don’t really know how deep that has been ingrained in my mind but it never stops me from making Muslim friends. In fact, it infuriates me if someone makes conservative comments regarding the issue. Ours is a generation of modern thinking, at least I believe so. Traditions are fine, but conservative traditions that separate us based on age old closed mindsets infuriate me. On a light note, my most favourite actor is a Muslim (incidentally my mother’s favourite actor is a Muslim too!), I admire Pakistan’s former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto (though if media reports are anything to go by, I may not actually know everything to make an informed decision), I absolutely adore the tune of Pakistan’s national anthem (admittedly sometimes more than the Indian anthem), and needless to say Biryani is one of my most favourite dishes of all time and I speak for my entire family! I have had very limited exposure to Muslims so unfortunately, I made very few Muslim friends. I had just one in college and when I came to do my MBA, I made my first ever Pakistani friend.
I can’t really say that this new Pakistani friend of mine is my best friend and that we are so close that you can’t separate us from each other. But getting to know him and working with him on a team project made me realize that what I have always thought about this issue still hold true. I always believed that we have been unfair to Muslims in general, whether Indian or Pakistani. Just because there are a couple of bad Pakistanis who plan terror attacks, doesn’t mean the whole Muslim community is bad. Hindus too have had bad gangsters who have committed crimes. I put all criminals especially rapists like the Nirbhaya case rapists at a position far worse than terrorists. Muslims are just like the Hindus in every regard. If you make them dress alike, you would never know the difference! In fact, I would even say most Muslims look even better than Hindus! Also, I have to admit, listening to this friend of mine speak in Hindi (Urdu actually) makes me want to listen to him even more. It just sounds so sweet and respectful. Whereas in India, very few cities speak the regular pure Hindi. It’s mostly corrupted by slang, especially in Mumbai, the “tapori” version. He talks of missing the same food (parathas and biryanis), the same sweets (rasmalai, kheer) and the same drinks (lassi) that I miss from back home! He too shares beautiful pictures of his country on social media like I do and he too writes beautifully about relationships and things that matter to him the way I do. Most of the time, he compliments me on what I write and even shares my posts to show his friends. Honestly, I just don’t see the divide that our countries see between us. I see him as yet another regular friend who is perhaps even more like me than some of my own countrymen. I am pretty sure that he’s no outlier! There must be more people like him in his country! There must be more people like him in my country! But it will be tough to find another person like him because of the mental blocks that exist in both our communities. It’s something that maybe people of my generation and generations after me can hopefully break. Because the older generation is full of memories of the past. To be fair to them, they can’t forget those memories because of new wounds being caused by extremists who don’t want to break this barrier. But this is something I strongly feel about and even if I may not be the one to change mindsets, I hope someday everyone in both communities thinks like me. I am not talking about uniting countries. I am talking about uniting communities without trying to sound like a revolutionary!
Musings of a confused nut! 