Coming from a country like India, we grow up with the idea that Marriages, arranged by family members, are unions meant to last forever. Girls just resign to the idea of learning to adapt and conform to expectations. Did you know that even today, almost 90% of the marriages in India are arranged marriages? That leaves only about 10% of the marriages which are love marriages. In earlier generations, love marriage was highly frowned upon and in most cases, families took a long time to accept such unions. There were parts of the country with didn’t allow such unions at any cost and people who dared to go against wishes of their families, did so in secret and if found out, some were even killed in the name of family honour.
On a positive note, since marriages have been arranged since forever, most unions have almost always worked out to have a long and fulfilled life together. According to a 2012 study, only about 6% arranged marriages end in a divorce (Source: TheDailyCougar). These numbers may not actually be completely accurate but they are more or less verified by the number of successful unions across India.
If one tries to look deep down into a marriage, the story might even be completely different. In olden times, it was common for women to accept their fates and adjust to the lifestyles of their husbands. It was a common practice for women to stay at home and take care of the house and kids and the men to be the bread winner and the person who ruled the house. It was also common for men to have a life outside the house completely separate from his work and family and it could, at times, even involve adultery. Women at the time, were helpless and had no choice but to accept it. They couldn’t leave their husbands for fear of rejection from society. If someone had the courage to do that, they weren’t earning for themselves so they wouldn’t be able to support themselves.
But today, times are changing and that too very quickly. Women are far more independent with dreams and ambitions of their own. They are beginning to choose the path that their life takes. They also have the choice to either share their life with someone or lead their own independent lives without having to conform to people’s expectations. There is still a lot of ground to be covered but there are those far and few who have started taking a stand. In the past 10 years, the rate of divorces has risen by about 350% in Kolkata and by 100% in Mumbai between 2010 and 2014 (Source: TheQuint). These numbers suggest that women are no longer willing to settle or accept their fate. They make their own fate.
The most interesting thing to note is that this shift in mindset isn’t just a shift from arranged marriages in favour of love marriages. This signifies something much bigger. It signifies that women are more open to the idea that they do no longer need to identify themselves with the family that they marry into. They do not have to keep quiet and accept whatever their husbands dish out to them. They don’t have to conform to expectations of the society. They now have the freedom to build their own life. They can choose to build a family or not. They can choose to be with a partner or not. Some are now even more comfortable with exploring their sexuality. With government granting them more freedom, they can publicly acknowledge their choices. These are big changes which are taking women one step closer to complete liberation.
Sources:
https://www.thequint.com/india/2015/10/01/not-so-happily-ever-after-yet-india-has-a-low-divorce-rate
http://thedailycougar.com/2015/04/03/arranged-marriages-theyre-not-as-unfortunate-as-you-think/
Musings of a confused nut! 