Having grown up in a family with middle class values, I have always been taught to save money. I have watched my mother painstakingly navigate markets to find groceries, which would be cheaper even if it were one or two rupees, just so that she could save something at the end of the month from her monthly budget. What made it interesting was that she did not need to do it. She could have just as easily looked for convenience but she would argue with the vegetable sellers and fruit sellers and always haggle! All Indians would know what I mean! I would just stand next to her and roll my eyes. It was not just my mother. My father, being a career banker, would constantly bug me to deposit all my pocket money into the bank! It was pocket money! Why would I demand it only to deposit it into the bank? That just didn’t make sense!
Anyway, the point is, even if we had enough while growing up, my parents always saved telling me that now is the time to save and that we will spend and enjoy at a later date. That’s how they made me approach my career as well. Throughout my school and college life, they said study now, there will be lots of time to enjoy later. When I started working in 2011, they said save now, you can spend and enjoy later. I would crib but later follow through. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this from different angles. Several readings and conversations around this have prompted me to do this. It’s a struggle that I constantly seem to face.
By the grace of god, I have always grown up in comfort and my parents have satisfied all my demands eventually if not right at that moment. To be fair to myself, I have never had real extravagant demands! Sometimes, they even surprised me with things I never even knew I wanted, the biggest one being my MacBook Air just 3 years ago! This was in spite of their constant endeavors to lead a modest life. I acknowledge the hard work put in by them through all these years to make my life so blessed! I have fond memories of this as I remember it would always be easier to demand something from my father, as he could never say no! If he really wanted to say no, he would direct me to my mother! At the time, I never realized that neat trick but now I see it clearly! My mother would usually say no but at some point she would surprise me. If she couldn’t, she would just say, “We will wait for your father to become a CEO and then we will get that for you!” Those were the days of childhood, when parents would just evade a whole conversation by putting it off for a later date!
Today, I have just about everything that a person could ever ask for. I am blessed to be able to support myself and all my so-called demands on my own. But, watching the world around me, I have realized that not everyone earns as much as I do, not everyone saves as much as I do. Yet, they are already having fun in their lives. They travel, go camping, take sabbaticals and spend on a lot of things not caring as much about saving up for retirement. I could probably do that. I could probably just take off on a trip by myself. People are doing that as well. Then, I keep putting it off for two reasons – one, I believe I do not have enough money to actually spend on travel and two, I don’t have someone to go with. Technically, both of these are excuses.
I also believe it’s the mindset that I grew up with that has shaped me to think the way I do. People here with kids and families don’t think about money the way I do. An example is a team member; she and her boyfriend go camping regularly with their kids. Almost every month she has some leaves reserved for these trips. Does that mean she isn’t thinking about her retirement savings? I’m sure she is. She has a kid to plan for. I don’t have that. I don’t have any mortgages to think of either. Yes, at some point I may want to buy a house and that would need saving up. That could justify my saving now and spending later mentality. Then I miss so much. I look at people travelling all over and I keep wishing that I were doing that. In addition, these people aren’t retired! So many of them are at the beginning of their career. I look at things I want to buy for myself and keep wishing I wasn’t struggling between savings and fulfilling my wish. I am materialistic to some degree!
I know its still quite early in the day for me. I will have lots of time later on to spend and fulfill these wishes. But I can’t help but wonder, will I really get to fulfill all my wishes or will I keep just adding to my wish list? So many “buts” are binding my hands! When do I actually get free from these? My parents kept putting fun and enjoyment away for when my father retires. Now when he is close to that time, he can’t do anything as his partner is no longer with him. My mother left this world never having actually fulfilled any of her wishes. In the last couple of years of her life, she managed to travel to a few countries so at least she got something! In the US, they keep stressing on work life balance. How do you do that? How do you strike a balance between saving and yet having some fun in life, even if it is alone? How do you plan and yet be spontaneous to enjoy impromptu moments?
Musings of a confused nut! 