“Treat others the way you want them to treat you!” This has been one of the earliest lessons that I have been taught (and constantly reminded) by my father using a simple Dennis the Menace story. Through the story, I’ve always believed that your actions are what define you. Therefore, the way you conduct yourself in front of others is a reflection of the person you really are. If you treat others respectfully and with gratitude, it would show in your nature and people around you would automatically respect you and treat you the way you treat them.
I once read a quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, which said, “To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart”. In this short span of my life, I have tried to follow this “rule of life” to the letter. Some days I succeeded and on some, I failed. I must admit, being a social introvert, I may not have tried handling too many “others” at all which meant not using my heart all that much to deal with them. Overall, I have always given others the benefit of the doubt. Even when I have had to deal with difficult situations, I have tried to deal with them the way I would want them to deal with me.
But, how do you deal with the people who see this character trait of mine as a weakness and use it as a weapon against me? In the corporate world, there are so many different types of people that one rule doesn’t apply to all. With some people, being nice to them doesn’t mean they will be nice to you! They will see it as an opportunity to use you as a stepping ladder. On such occasions, William Arthur Ward’s quote – “When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves” – doesn’t work at all! It just pushes you to the back of the line. An interesting article I read on this very idea – https://thegeekyleader.com/2017/06/11/dont-treat-others-as-you-want-to-be-treated/
How does one achieve a balance? How do you build two personalities – one that is always nice and kind to others and one that deals with the kind who try to walk over you? Isn’t having two “faces” seen as a negative character trait?
I have always asked these questions to my original teacher on the subject, my father. He can only give his own example and say that you don’t necessarily need two faces. Your good deeds and good nature will always be rewarded, even if you don’t realize when. I believe it’s the wait for the “rewards” that’s disillusioning me!
Then again, there’s a famous Indian saying – “KARAM KARO FAL KI ICHCHA NA KARO – BHAGVAD GITA” which clearly gives guidelines to life lessons handed down to us from sages who have been known to have successfully attained Moksha (free from materialistic pleasures of life). The saying loosely translates as – do your job without expecting/bothering about the outcome, as outcome is not in your hands. This means I shouldn’t wait for rewards. This just makes it harder to follow the original lesson that we started with!
Having mixed multiple quotes and lessons of life together, I am no closer to getting an answer to these ever-nagging questions on my mind. Why are people the way they are? How do you deal with so many different types of people? How do you still make a name for yourself and find your own little place in the world?
Musings of a confused nut! 