As a person who is almost always surrounded by people with strong and often opposing opinions, I struggle to voice my own. Recently, I attended a training at work, called “Crucial Conversations”. It was a 2 day training with a curriculum based on a best-selling book by the same name. Though that training was geared more towards handling difficult conversations like handling stressful situations work or telling someone something that they may not like hearing, it didn’t teach me how to handle situations where I am talking to people who have such strong opinions that, should I choose to actually voice mine, they completely dismiss me altogether, verbally or with a shake of their head, and sometimes, both! Knowing that I am quite passive by nature, I actively choose to keep my opinions to myself, just so that I can avoid being dismissed and possibly also avoid a confrontation altogether. At the rare chance that I do voice my opinions, one of two things happens. Either I let my opinion go to save the relationship (though in my mind, that relationship is broken forever) or I push forth leading to some heated arguments which leads to temporary breaks in relationship (this option is usually used only for close friends who I know will not end the relationship forever). Either way, there is a strain in the relationship that causes a crack in my mind that I cannot easily get over. It makes me weary of that person, forever.
In the corporate world, whatever experts may say, there is no place for people like me. Keeping aside the argument that I’m playing the victim card, in my short time working, I have realized that there are very few people who actually like hearing the balanced side of things. Very few people are actually open to hearing (not just listening) opposing points of view. It is even rarer to find leaders who are so inclusive that they build teams with different thought processes and manage them effectively to form a functional and successful working group. Most people, in my view, have what is popularly known as, selective hearing. They choose to hear exactly what they want to hear. If it’s not what they want to hear, they will either ignore it or dismiss it completely. Is there a solution to this? Maybe. Or maybe it’s just a human trait that not everyone gives a real thought about or even cares enough to believe it needs rectifying. The easiest answer is to tell people like me that I need to change and be more aggressive (but respectfully of course!) and voice my opinion. Some would even say, I should just think carefully and realize that the opposing view point is the correct view point.
It is with this struggle that I continue to forge my way forward, in a world that completely baffles me, a world that has me completely disillusioned, a world that I am not even sure I want to be in!
Image Source – http://www.breaktheframe.com
Musings of a confused nut! 